Defective

In the beginning
It was a long, long time ago. Well, to some of you it was a long, long time ago, but to the rest of us it was merely the late 60s. I had gone up to the University of Sussex (England) to study Pure Mathematics. Those were heady days. You must realise that we really were the generation that invented sex 'n drugs 'n rock and roll. If you live in a universe with no god in it, just the random chance of quantum mechanics, and if you have faced up to the inevitability of your own mortality, then the only thing to do is to have a good time and live life, what life you have, to the full.
I was no model student. My personal morality was dubious, I avoided the new mind expanders for the old student staple of C₂H₅OH and had little regard for authority. I neglected my college work but went to lots of very good parties. I built and ran the pirate pop radio station that played on campus. I knew all the right people. I was in with the in crowd. (Yes, we really talked like that then.)
Actually, you must understand, I was not immoral in my own eyes. I had a clear view of the universe - and I did not like it much. The main problem was that as far as I could see this Nigel Hewitt was a pretty temporary thing and the rest of the universe, in general, did not care that he would soon be over. So, if Nigel Hewitt only had three score years and ten or thereabouts to enjoy his lot, he was darn well going to enjoy it. My morality was do your own thing but let other people do theirs. I knew there were other views, but this was mine and I could live with it.
I did not come from a christian family but some contact with a church youth club meant that I had a rudimentary knowledge of what a church was all about but, if there was no god, it was hardly relevant to me was it?
But then
I kept running into christians. The world seemed to be full of the blighters. There were the folks from the university christian union. Nice guys but hardly my type, anyway you never saw then at the parties that mattered.
They all seemed pretty comfortable with what they believed, and they wanted to tell you about it, so I had heard about it all in some detail several times within my first six months at college. But there was a snag. Although it was all self consistent I specifically did not believe any such thing as a god existed and proving the bible was the word of god by quoting the old book itself was faintly humorous. But I was the good guy. My universe had nothing to recommend it so why should I try to disillusion them about theirs? I stayed in touch. Not seriously, I had better things to do with my time.
Then this American came knocking on my door. He was just doing a survey. It was about god. When he came to the last question about would I like to know god better I told him I had tried it but it did not work. I had not but I knew it would not because there had to be a god for it to have a chance of working. That should have got shot of him but he kept popping in to talk and occasionally he left me a book.
It was a book that finally rattled me. It was a book of historical facts. The key was the disciples. They had to be the ones who made up the whole story, but they came to some pretty miserable ends, quite avoidable ends, rather than give up on the tale. This is quite a significant personal statement. Who dies for what they know is a lie? That implies that the central tenant of their story is true. That Jesus actually did rise from the dead and they saw him. Ergo, by several steps, there is a God. So God is true. Wow!
Hang on though. Just about every religion says that God is a moral God and these christians and this Jesus have a God who is an extremist in this area. He cares about right and wrong with pretty clear outlines as to what is right and what is wrong, and he rewards goodness and punishes the opposition.
"Grief Nigel. You're in deep trouble."
But I had heard the gospel. I knew what I had to do. I knew you could not just dally around with God, just be a christian for an hour on sundays. You had to change sides totally. You had to defect.
So
No, it has not been all easy. Christians are not immune from the world's problems and I am still not looking forward to watching my body wear out and stop working with me still onboard. But I do know what is beyond that. I know where I am going because I know which side I am on.
And that old book that only makes circular arguments if there is no god makes a lot more sense now that I know why he wrote it. It is not that God is good but more that good is defined in terms of God. The bible uses a word sin to describe actions that are symptomatic of being on the wrong side. Sin is neither kicking the cat nor bulk axe murder. Sin about why you do things. You can donate a million pound to charity or even sacrifice you life to save someone else sinfully. You can not avoid sin by keeping any set of rules.
You have got to defect.
Yes, you can run your own life for yourself and by yourself. That makes God your enemy, or you can go over. It is very simple. Heaven comes later but where we are now is a battlefield and God is recruiting an army. All he asks is commitment. He has never turned away anyone who really wanted to join and he specialises in taking on lost causes.
It is sin, you see, that makes us enemies of God. The problem ought to be insurmountable. In fact to us it is. God, however, has a solution. He can not stop being a good moral god but he cannot stop being a loving god either. Sin calls out for a penalty. The just and proper penalty for sin is infinite separation from God and all the goodness he embodies. For us an infinite penalty would take an infinite time - nasty. Jesus however, being infinite God become a man, lived a blameless life and when he died God loaded all the penalty for sin onto him. Only Jesus could take an infinite penalty and on the third day rise again from the dead to prove he had made it through. That is why God can forgive sin and is choosing people to be his own. The price has been paid. We can be part of this. If we want him too. If we will let him. If we will defect.

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